Condition described does not exist

I've got this thing and it's f-ing golden.
I’ve got this thing and it’s F*ing golden.

My big dilemma this morning is, do I go all self-righteous with the City of Chicago? Or keep it polite and concise?

“It’s bad enough that you SOLD the entire city’s metered parking rights to a private company that jacks up the prices every two weeks, but NOW you also force me to take precious TIME out of my busy day “contesting” a ticket that never should have been ISSUED in the first place. I don’t see why the onus should be on ME to prove what is apparently either incompetence or greed. But I guess that SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE. Cue Lincoln Park Pirates song here, did you even NOTICE that Steve Goodman’s mom died a few months ago?”

OR

“The ticket was issued at 4:37 p.m., citing an expired meter. However, my parking permit did not expire until 4:39 p.m. Sincerely, etc.”

It feels good to rail at authority. I don’t worry too much about the fact that I really don’t know what went down with the metered parking sale. I suppose Daley did what he thought he had to do. I suppose whoever issued my ticket had a quota to meet. I suppose it’s fair for them to assume I would have been late getting back to my car. Although with meter rates as high as they are, believe me I was watching my—whoa, never mind. Where was I? Oh yes. But when I’m right about something, however small, I just feel so right, vehemently right, about EVERYTHING. Fiscal policy, party politics, the inner life of the modern meter officer.

This letter is my only chance today, maybe this week, maybe my WHOLE LIFE, to be absolutely in the right. I AM SO RIGHT. I want to use it for all its worth. But I must use my power wisely. This is Chicago. They could still screw me over if I piss somebody off.

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One thought on “Condition described does not exist”

  1. Possibly the only upside of having to pay those stupid meters- the fact that you can prove the ticket was written before the time actually expired. Win! At least they didn’t hey, hey, tow you away…

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