Could everything stop being a metaphor for just five minutes?

deflated snowmen
Exhibit 13-B.

Exhibit A. Clamshell packaging on cheap electronics.

Exhibit B. Filling the humidifier while it’s raining outside.

Exhibit C. Traffic on Elston.

Exhibit D. A messy house.

Exhibit F. The empty laundry basket that’s been sitting in the same spot for a week.

Exhibit I. The sky, right at this moment.

Exhibit K. That piece of fuzz on the blind. Its weightlessness. Its replicating powers. Its almost-lack of color or form. Its polite insistence. Its network of friends.

Exhibit Z. That dream last night. Specifically, the part with the ladder.

Exhibit 13-B. Inflatable snowmen, deflated.

Exhibit 7. Snowmen.

Suiting up for a rainy day

karaoke screen
        So many choices, and yet.

Here are your choices for today. You can be braggy. You can be brazen. Blue is taken. Churlish is also out at the moment, though killjoy is available.

You can be daffy. You can be elegant, but that requires a shower. Short on time? Let me suggest frenetic, or perhaps groovy, both of which work great with jeans and the sweater that hasn’t been washed since you stored it for the summer.

You can be hopeful. No, really, I think it would look great on you. Or perhaps just cautiously optimistic, though that’s not nearly as much fun. And in weather like this, fun counts.

No, I’m sorry, you can’t be fun. Fun is something you have to experience on the spot. It’s like mercury, we can’t keep it on the shelf and parse it out like foolish. Or demanding. Or maybe pissy.

You don’t really want pissy, do you? Weren’t you that yesterday? How about something a little exotic. How about Quixotic?

Yes, I saw the Joffrey version, too. Did you know he was in a prison? Me, neither. I totally thought she was his maidservant. There might be a clue in that. Maybe you should be roguish. I’m serious. I think you could pull it off.

How about serene? It’s getting late and we don’t have a lot left. Let’s see. You can be tangential. Or troublesome. Or tipsy. You can be unreasonable or unflappable. I recommend the latter. You could try vibrant. Winsome is taken, and whiny was the first thing out the door. The rest of these, I can’t even pronounce.

Why don’t you step into the fitting room and let me bring you the roguish, and this other one I’ve been holding back. At the first sign of rain, I hide it behind the counter, because I know it’s going to be absolutely perfect for just the right person.

No, I’m not going to tell you what it is, I just want you to try it on.

Okay, one hint. Think multiple choice. Think of your whole day being nothing but multiple choice. Awesome, right? Shake off your sleepy and I’ll be right back.

It’s a brand new day

iphone screen
We're pretty sure it's changed our life.

First I check my email. Mostly bank balances and online store events. Sometimes a late-night or early-morning message from a friend. What do I expect? I checked right before I went to sleep. Rarely any work emails lately, since most of what I do goes to a project manager who fields all the emails and works her other miracles.

Next, I check the weather, looking for something in the 60s. That’s all I’m asking for, 60s. Today it’s 49. That’s really close to 50, which is right under 60. That’s hopeful.

Then it’s on to Facebook, to see if anyone there has said anything funny or profound, liked or commented on anything funny or profound I may have said, or friended me from another life.

From there I go to BBC News, where today I see my first typo, “revovered.” I check in with the world and marvel at the BBC’s organizational grace, dozens of concise news stories striated into a logical grid.

Then I’m stumped. This is the part where I need to get out of bed, but I’m sure I should check some more apps first. Oh yes, I can go to the app store and check for updates. Then maybe I should check my email again. Is it possible the temp has gone up a degree?

No. Get up. Just get up and do something. Make the coffee. No, Dave’s making the coffee, I’ll just check this Skype message. The Skype message is two months old, you don’t know the person. Get up. Okay. Should I. Wait! I didn’t check my calendar yet! You don’t have anything today. You have to sit at your desk and finish your videos. Right. Okay. I’ll just double-check. Sigh. Fine. Go ahead. Check it all again. Hey look, it’s 50!

Dave brings in the coffee. Lather, rinse and repeat.

Weather bug

iphone temp readout
I'll be here all week.

Yesterday I felt my mother’s body pass through me. Not her ghost, her body. It happened when I was sitting on the radiator, putting my boots on. It was another cold, rainy morning and the light in the kitchen was gray. I was feeling tired of feeling hopeless. I knew it was just the weather, the resurgence of winter we’ve had after all the pretty spring flowers started to open and now we wake up with snow on the roof.

So my brain knew this was the cause of my ennui but still. It was hard getting my coat and scarf and hat on. It was too hard to pull my boots on standing up, so I sat on the radiator. I pulled them on, one and then the other, and then leaned back, waiting for the will to stand up and go outside.

Then, just when my body was leaning back and my legs were stretched in front of me and I stared into the gray kitchen light with some indefinable combination of resignation and defiance, I felt my mother’s body. Like I was in her body looking out. Like I felt what she felt on those days she had that weird expression on her face and said annoying things like, “Come on, Cozzola,” to herself. I held myself still and felt it. It wasn’t happy, it didn’t feel good but it felt precious. I wondered if it was just because half her genes and stuff are in me that I felt this, the way you feel a creaky elbow and know it’s your dad’s arthritis. But this was physical and not physical. It felt like a body that had paused, briefly, inside my outline.

I spoke tentatively into the empty room. “Mom? I know how you felt. I wish I could tell you I know exactly how you felt.” I wondered if this was why people had kids, to know they continue after death, in other bodies. I was relieved I wouldn’t be passing this on. The moment passed and my body was mine again, so I got up and went outside. I really hope we get some sunshine soon.